I Adore My Husband (Part Two)

ImageMost people would say their husband is their best friend. I would say that, too, but my husband is my best friend and best girlfriend all rolled into one.

We chat about everything. He has been known to crimp my hair and enhance the color. He proudly wears pink and yellow. He shops. We were in a fabric store not too long ago, and he was oohing and aahing over fabrics while I was whining, dragging my feet, and wanting to go home. He sings the female backup parts to songs. He sheds tears when something touches his heart.

The flip side is that he is a manly man and is comfortable in flannel. He can fix anything, build anything, and solve any problem – at least in my world. He used an employment service the last time he looked for work. He had to take a test so they could pigeon-hole him into a few types of jobs. The workers said the test results showed he was one of the rare people who could literally do anything. I believe it.

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Single malt, no rocks for hubby.

I don’t mind that he smokes cigars and drinks an occasional Scotch. There’s something about those skinny cigars and a glass of Scotch neat that makes him too sexy for his pink shirt.

Women love him; men appropriately like him (although I recall a few men who would have liked to have loved him). He has a wonderful sense of humor, and not a day goes by without him making me laugh in some way.

Which brings me to today. Today I decided to delete old email and text messages on my computer and my phone. Of course, I first had to look for the gems he has sent to me since the last time I did this and embarrassed him back in August. Here we go …

There are still sweet greetings:

Good morning, honey pie.

Good morning, princess.

As well as some news from the overnight, and before he actually starts work:

Did you have fun punching me in the face last night?  What did I do to you?

Pete had a three-pooper this morning. Yippie.  He was a proud beagle.Image

I love you. I hope you’re still snoring and making spit bubbles.

Comments regarding his day at work:

Everyone who comes into my office today has commented on my banana.  They want to touch it.  I understand Debbie and Sue wanting to, but Steve and Bob?  Not so much.

Sometimes a random thought comes through:

Humpty says “Grab ‘em in the biscuits.”

We frequently talk about food as we try to eat healthier:

I’m starving. I’ll have bread and water for supper.

I want to run uptown and have a margarita, chips and salsa. Then go Imageto Wendy’s for a large chili and a single with everything but cheese, and wash it down with a large frosty. Then swing over to Taco Bell for an enchirito and a couple choco-taco’s. On the way home, stop at the gas station and pick up chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream for a light snack.

 

After I asked what he wanted from the Chinese place:

I guess the chicken with the big black snotty fungus flaps.

Some days he’s in a hurry to come home:

Just over an hour before I can leave to come home to my bride. I CAN’T WAIT.

Papa’s comin’ home, and he’s NAKED. I hope I don’t get pulled over along the way.

After I sent him the video of Greenback Boogie, which I liked:

Now there’s five minutes of my life that I’ll NEVER get back.

When I asked him to help me with the bacon limericks:

You want a dirty or a clean limerick? Dirty I can do in a flash. Clean may take me a few weeks.

Bacon peppered, smoky and thick,
Frying it fast is part of the trick.
Along with some eggs,
Or eaten alone,
Rub on your ears and use as cologne.

The day he needed to get something off his chest:

Our town’s finest was out in front of the house last weekend talking to the “Kettle Kids.” I figured he told them to stay away from the road and not play there. You know, doing his civil duty. I just mowed the grass, and I now know why the cop stopped. The Kettle’s were out there busting hell out of our slate sidewalk. There are enough slate chips out there to arm the entire Sioux Tribe with arrowheads for the next friggin’ ten years.

Just this week, after a wind storm ripped the power lines away from our house, and the surge fried our microwave:

I’m taking my dish of leftover spaghetti to the Circle-K. They have microwaves over there.Image

There are still sweet closings:

Hugs ‘n smooches

I love you, my princess.

I Adore My Husband (Part One)