Pass the Tissues, She’s Crying Again

ImagePinocchio saved Geppetto from the whale, Monstro. When they washed up on shore, and it appeared Pinocchio had died, I cried. I was an adult.

When my husband told me of seeing an old man crying as he took his dog into the vet to be euthanized, I cried.

When our son broke up with a girlfriend, I saw her face as she left our home. It was the right decision, but I felt her pain, and I cried.

I remember feeling things deeply as a child. I laughed hard; I cried hard. When I would read books, I felt what the characters were feeling, and it was not unusual to find me crying over a book. I still cry when I read books. Even my own, silly as that may seem.

Image

Buddy

I cry watching movies and television shows. I cry at weddings. I cry in church, especially from the music. I can’t watch those heart-wrenching commercials on television about dogs that need help, because they’ll turn me into a blubbering mess.

When I see someone who is hurting, I know how they feel. It’s painful at times.

This isn’t something I can control. I’ve tried. I fight tears. I try to think of something else, but the feelings are too strong.

Most people can sympathize with others and situations, but empathy is a feeling of another’s true emotions. An empath will deeply feel the emotions of others. It is suspected to be genetic and in our DNA – something passed from generation to generation.

There have been times when I wished this would go away, but I think I’m much more forgiving and understanding of people because of empathy.

I hope no one would ever say I am uncaring.
What’s the one thing you hope other people never say about you?
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2012/10/24/daily-prompt/

83 thoughts on “Pass the Tissues, She’s Crying Again

  1. I don’t think you’re uncaring at all! You seem to cry even more than I do and that’s saying something since I turn into a blubbering mess often too, haha.

    • Don’t forget, I’ve had a few more years to cry than you. 😉 But It seems to get worse as I get older. It’s not a mood thing, I just seem to feel things even more deeply than I did. I should quit watching Hallmark movies, that’s for sure.

  2. This is a great post, Maddie! I cry far too easily when I feel moved by something I see. I would be inclined to cry over the things you have stated here. I don’t cry so readily about my own personal problems. I still maintain that in the period of our entire relationship I can probably count the number of times I have cried in front of my man.

    I think empathy is extremely important and a very valuable quality. I think it would be terribly sad to be incapable of this. Good for you! 🙂

    I would hate people to think I was lacking in compassion.

    • Thank you, Kate. I never thought about it, but I rarely cry over my own personal problems, too. And I don’t cry in front of my husband unless it can’t be helped. I even sneak brushing a tear or two aside so he won’t notice. I love that there are kindred spirits here, and I don’t feel quite so freaky now. I would try really hard not to cry at your wedding, but the tears would be at the ready the minute you walked through the doorway to go down the aisle. 🙂

  3. Wonderful post, Maddie… Empathy is indeed a wonderful energy; one that brings us to understand one another; as you’ve said. I no longer ‘cry at the drop of a bucket’, so to speak however; I do ‘well up’ with joy, or sorrow, or laughter, or just about any other emotion that speaks deeply… Aren’t we lucky… 😉

  4. Lovely post, Maddie.

    “Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before–more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.”
    ― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

  5. Great post. Empathy can be a blessing and a curse. I think if anyone were to ever say something like that about you it would come from not knowing you at all or being a contrarian.

    Also, Sarah McLachlan ruins everyone’s day. >_> Those commercials, I tell you…

    • Yes, that Sarah! You said once before that empathy can be both blessing and curse. I thought about you last night as I wrote this, because sometimes it does feel like a curse. But if I am honest, I really don’t want it to go away. I can’t imagine not feeling this way.

      • I know the feeling. =D In the end it’s something very much worth having. I see what it’s like to be without it, and I don’t want that.

  6. Cry ….. are you kidding …. I cry when I see a beautiful sunset or when the neighbor girls write me a thank you note. I’ve come to realize it’s ok to cry, I just carry around a box of tissues. Great post Maddie !!!

    • Hi, Rita Kay! Yes, I have to agree, it is ok to cry. Tissues are definitely on my mental checklist before I leave the house – or I find myself scrounging around for a napkin in the glove box. 😉

  7. I would bawl like a kid when I missed the bus. Honestly, it doesn’t take much to get me to cry anymore. Sad commercial? Cry. Sad Finn and Jake? Cry. I feel a little less silly after reading this.

    • You want silly? Part of what brought this post about was a movie. Two nights ago, I was watching a Scrooge movie – The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past with Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner. I’m crying at the end of this silly, goofy, predictable chick flick, and I’m thinking, “what is wrong with me!” It’s simply out of my control. 🙂

  8. Empathy can be draining, but I know it is a gift. I found myself nodding and agreeing as I thought about my tendency to get teary over similar things. He might not admit it, but I’ve seen my strong surgeon of a husband weep over patients as we pray together…and I love that about him! Having empathy is like having a special window through which to see things about people and the world that not everyone gets to see. Thank God for it, and use it to bless those around you!

    • A special window is a good term. Until I understood empathy, I couldn’t understand why I felt the way I did, when others around me cared and were sympathetic but seemed untouched emotionally. Did that make sense? Other than the embarrassment factor at times, I think empathy has served me well over the years, and I can think of times when it was useful to others. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment.

  9. I feel for you, Ms Maddie. I think I cry about almost about everything. Oh, and I also think that it’s a gift to have compassion towards things some people don’t even give a damn about. 🙂

  10. Cry all you want, Maddie. It’s better to shed tears than it is to be hard. Not everyone that doesn’t cry easily is hard or obtuse or just plain dense… but some of them are. You be yourself.

  11. I’m empathetic, and it’s hard for me not to internalize every horrible story I read in the newspaper, but I’m not much of a crier. Can’t remember the last time I’ve cried that wasn’t when I was laughing. Guess I got good at tightening that jaw and shutting it off. 🙂

  12. I cry a good bit, even if it’s like for 2 seconds because of the Google Chrome commercial. I never want anyone to think or say I’m crazy (as in emotional nut sense).

    • You made me Google the Google Chrome tug at your heartstrings commercial. 🙂 I kind of gave the impression that I’m a break down and cry kind of person, but I really am more like you – except maybe ten or fifteen seconds, or a tissue shoved into my eyes for a few moments. I don’t want people to think I’m an emotional nut either! Thanks for helping me to clarify that! 🙂

  13. Empathy is a beautiful trait. Crying is the most sane thing in the world. Interesting about it’s heredity. Thanks for sharing.

    Want to know what gets me going? Remembering anything from my childhood–the games, the innocence–and then thinking about the things I’ve done and cared for since. No one to blame but myself and that’s a lonely feeling. Things are much better now.

    The last time I cried was when I went to a baseball game. The PA announcer introduced the team as they ran onto the field, “Ladies and Gentleman, the defending American League Champion Texas Rangers.” I welled up. My father and I would go to games when they were terrible.

        • I try to research and hone my skills as much as possible. I have a keen sense into these things–just something I feel–so I’m listening for pleasure more than anything. This history is done in a very artful way. It’s interesting. The reading is spattered with modern Irish folk songs. It’s all done very nicely. I’m particularly enamored with the Irish because of my favorite book–Ulysses by Joyce. My all inspiration.

          Are you into history much? Any other hobbies?

          • Hello, Jerron! I’m catching up with you this evening. I love your writing. Some days it really gives my brain a workout. 🙂 I love history. Ancient Egypt is my favorite from Old World, and the American Revolution from current history. I don’t read as much history as I used to. When I follow my hobbies, they are reading and cooking. Between writing and blogging, there is little time for either these days. So glad we connected, Jerron. Keep up the awesome posts!

    • Hello, my favorite translator. That’s a great memory about your father. You were both true fans to go when they were terrible. (Cleveland Indians – I know the feeling of an empty stadium.) My father has passed, and I think my favorite memory was getting up early one Saturday and going fishing with him. I didn’t fish. I sat in the boat all day and read a book. He thought I wanted to fish, but I just wanted to be with him and work on my tan.

      • I let this reply slip by somehow. Hello, Ms. Maddie! I’m sorry about your father–the most natural and toughest thing about living, for sure. That sounds like a great time, floating on the water, enjoying a book, getting some time with someone you love. I’m sure he had a blast.

  14. I think we cry more because we are passionate people. We are writers. We feel strongly about things. Hell a song on a certain day can bring me to my knees. I think it’s just how we’re made. It’s why we write. We want others to feel what we write. Feel how we feel. I cry all the time. I make no apologies for it. It makes me, me. And it makes you, you. I’m glad you “feel”.

    • Renee, your emotions pour out in your writing so beautifully. I should have known there would be a good many “criers” here. You are right – writers – creative people of all kind – tend to be passionate and feel things deeply.

  15. Omg, I had to check that my name was really connie not maddie. You were describing me exactly. I do understand that empathy is a wonderful thing, and am glad a have been blessed with an extra healthy dose, but really! When my kids were in their teens, and ever since, each time we watch a movie, commercial, etc that tugs at the heart strings, they automatically look over & say, ” mom, really! Are you crying?” It’s ok sometimes, but I do wish I could control those feelings at times.

    • Yes! Our son did that to me, too! Or I’d be struggling to hold everything in, and he’d look over at me with a big grin – just knowing that the tears were close. Kids! As Daniel said upthread, it really is a blessing and a curse. Thank you for stopping by Connie!

  16. I think this was a great post and I am sure you are a lovely woman;) I cried when, I read Where The Red Fern Grows when I was a kid and then again in Of Mice and Men. Other than that, I am rock/heartless reader:) Take care!!

  17. When I read this post, I thought, “Oh my gosh, she’s describing me… to a T!”. I’ve always had a tender heart, sometimes it’s a blessing, other times a curse :-). Either way, I enjoyed your post very much!

    • Thank you! I feel so much better after all of the wonderful comments today. It is a tender heart for sure. The tears part makes it feel like a curse at times, but the feeling/heart part is all blessing. Thank you for stopping by and commenting!

  18. The one thing I hope people don’t say about me? Um…

    “Look at him lying there in the gutter. Must be a commercial illustrator… ” : (

    A crier?? Join the club, Maddie! Certain stories and movies always do it for me. For example, even though I’ve seen it 7,342 times, I always cry at the end of It’s A Wonderful Life. Especially when Zuzu says: “Every time a bell rings, Uncle Billy eats buffalo wings!”

    Yup, gets me every time… : )

    • Ahh, only the bad commercial illustrators would end up in the gutter – because they couldn’t hold a candle to you. 😉 … It’s A Wonderful Life is great for crying. This year when I watch it, I will eat buffalo wings and think of you!

  19. This IS a great post. I also cry a lot. Awards ceremonies, anything patriotic – especially the songs, and when other people cry. And you’re right, it is getting worse with age. I go nowhere without tissues.

  20. I’ve always kinda envied people who can cry easily. I feel like they’re more in touch with their emotions. Lately, I’ve found myself tearing up more and more with little provocation. It even happed in an IMAX showing of “Hubble.” That was unexpected.

    • Some of the comments have been that the crying comes more often as we get older, but I’ve been a crier from my teens. It can be embarrassing. I’ve cried in an IMAX theatre! A Niagara Falls showing where a boy went over the falls (and lived), but his sister was saved at the last minute. Hubble must be awe-inspiring.

  21. Oh, Maddie! That was so beautifully written! I felt I was reading about me. Just about everything makes me cry too, and like you, and some others, I don’t cry about myself; it’s about everything else, including both sad and beautiful things. Not a day goes by but I don’t cry, probably quite a few times . You’re right about it being worse as you get older. At least it does with me. I don’t know where mine comes from. I never saw my mother nor my father cry. I feel like we’re spirit sisters.

    • Thank you, Mary. Yes, the tears do seem to come more often – even on the happy days. I don’t know where mine come from either as my parents didn’t cry and neither did my four siblings. I guess you and I were given gentle spirits. We are spirit sisters. Thank you so much for stopping by.

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