I came downstairs last Sunday morning, and Rich was watching United States of Bacon on Discovery Channel. People were eating 5-ounce chunks of thick, hickory-smoked bacon-on-a-stick, and my husband was drooling.
“Honey,” he said. “I swear this is just like watching porn.”
Not that he watches porn.
I laughed, shook my head, and asked him what was the deal with men and bacon? Women like bacon, but they don’t turn into idiots when it’s on television, or when they’re cooking it, or even when they see it in the grocery store. Bacon awakens something deep inside of men.
He recently did some computer work for a friend. It took a couple of trips and several hours to complete the work. HE TOOK PAYMENT FOR HIS SERVICES IN BACON. Seven pounds to be exact.
We’ve joked about bacon here before, and some of you may remember his bacon poem. He wrote it for me to enter into another blogger’s poetry contest, but I refused:
Slice it, smoke it, fry it up quick.
Make sure it’s done, or it might make you sick.
Splattering grease burn, it looks like a freckle.
An apron protects you, especially your schmekel.
(Yes, we’re really twelve years old, and the poem still makes me laugh.)
When I make potato soup, he wants bacon in it. Fried cabbage? Only with bacon. Bacon on 
pizza. Bacon-wrapped steaks. Bacon on baked chicken. Bacon on burgers. Bacon in baked beans. Bacon and eggs, of course. It never ends, and just the smell of it as it cooks reduces him to the grinning village idiot.
A 2009 study in Britain showed men to prefer the smell of bacon over babies. Why am I not surprised? When I told this to Rich, he replied, “Well, that makes sense.”
Bacon is addictive. Per wikipedia: bacon possesses six ingredient types of umami, which elicits an addictive neurochemical response. … “the chain lards on bacon” create a one-of-a-kind product that has no taste substitute.
You can’t help it if you love bacon: “Bacon makes you feel happy, satisfied, blissful, which greatly reduces stress in our lives and effectively relieves the negative effects of frustration, self deprivation and sense of lack in ones existence.” Bacon is nature’s candy.
I’ll close with some final thoughts from my husband:
– Bacon is like fine wine, except you fry it.
– There is nothing better than bacon and eggs – minus the eggs.
– There is no proper way to prepare bacon. Whether it’s almost burnt, or fried just enough, it’s perfect every time.
– Kevin is one of the luckiest guys on earth!
– Just because there are no bacon paintings by van Gogh doesn’t mean he didn’t paint one.
– Did you know that no matter what you type into Google Images after the word bacon, you will get legitimate results? From bacon automobiles to bacon zombies, you’ll get real bacon results. Try it. 
Do you love bacon? When was the last time you ate bacon? What’s your favorite way to eat bacon?
Breezy Books 
hahaha, your hubby is so funny. I personally usually don’t eat bacon, I”m a sausage girl. But I am in a minority. Most people love bacon. To me it’s too salty. I have to be on a low sodium diet, but even before that I don’t like salty things. I don’t like pretzels either. I know, I’m weird. don’t hate me. 😉
Now I do cook with bacon. There are some things you just have to add bacon to. Like potato soup, or baked potato, or bacon wrapped scallops, although I admit I feed the dog my bacon off that and just eat the scallops.
I didn’t say, but I’m not a big bacon eater either. I don’t mind it in something, but I hate eggs, and I just don’t eat very much bacon by itself. I love sausage, too, especially like what you get a the fair with peppers and onions. Ok, now *I’m* drooling.
darn it Maddie. Now I want sausage! Where is the nearest fair??
I know! This thread is making me hungry!!
Not liking bacon is kinda scary. To us men bacon is like the black dress to women. It is good for any occaision, Your dog chose you well Jackie.
So true. We are guilty of sharing bacon with our dog, too. Even Rich will give a “little.”
This should be Freshly Pressed. Just sayin’. 😛 It has that quality. I’m not overjoyed by bacon. My waistline definitely isn’t. I certainly enjoy it from time to time, though. I like it with eggs, on a cheeseburger, or bacon, egg & cheese on a biscuit. (The last one is my fav.)
Most men definitely become savages around bacon, though. My other half always goes.. “Oh my God!” *drools* when he sees it. & Forget it when I’m cooking it. “You know you are so hot right now..” Me: “Why is that?” Him: “Cuz yer makin’ bacon” Me: “Oh, & here I thought it was my hair..”
You made me laugh. Rich is in the kitchen. I leaned over in my chair and kind of hollered out there and told him what your husband says when you’re cooking bacon. That brought a belly laugh from him; he can relate. 🙂 When we are the family designated to bring baked beans to a family get-together, Rich is the one who makes them. He thinks his secret ingredient is the “almost burnt” bacon and onions. Men!
Haha! Always glad to bring smiles/laughter. I wish mine could cook something besides charred eggs. Ah, I love him, though. Men are a fascinating species indeed.
My Bubba pulled bacon out of the fridge this morning. I did save the day, by offering to cook it. However, for him it is donuts. Yesterday he told me to take a bite of his donut, and I am not lying when I did and he said, “Oh, God that’s sexy.”
I imagine it is that way in your house with bacon.
LOL, Jean! That’s a fantastic visual with the donut. 🙂 Yes, it is just like that here with bacon. He hovers around making all manner of I love you and thank you noises.
I’m a lifelong healthy eater, bordering on some unhealthy mindsets about my weight and what I eat. However….since meeting my dear husband 16 years ago, I have learned to eat in moderation most of the time and enjoy some really good things from time to time. Bacon is one of them. Yesterday, in fact, after having a lunch of cous cous, baby spinach, and turkey bacon (wait, bacon again?), I went out to a “gourmet” burger place with my family and ordered a bacon cheeseburger. It is still sitting like a boulder in my stomach, but it sure was good, especially with the fries.
Our 25-pound three year old turns her nose up at most meat that I prepare–but she devours fried chicken and you guessed it, bacon.
My husband sounds like the typical bacon loving man you described. He is trying to eat with more moderation and less bacon these days, so we switched to turkey bacon. It’s not the same, but it does leave a culinary satisfaction without a dietary crisis.
You are exactly right – it’s easy to enjoy some really good things in moderation. (I need to learn to do that with M&Ms.) I’ve tried turkey bacon more than once, but I haven’t enjoyed it. Good for your husband to be willing to make the switch. I kind of doubt mine would; he would do without, which he is now that the seven pounds of bacon are gone. 🙂
Bacon is to man what chocolate is to woman, and yes, I will have bacon with that 🙂
Yes!!! I forgot to put that in my post. That’s exactly what Rich said to me. It was almost a sneer when he said, “Women do chocolate.” Thanks, Wildcat! (wild + c + 4=a + t … am I right? I’m doing math here.)
Yes, I got bitten by a feral cat once, nearly got blood poisoning, a memorable moment 🙂
Yikes! I suppose that was frightening. I’m not a cat person, but I took one in once to help someone out. I named him Feral! There was no lovey-dovey in that cat at all. I did find a better home for him though.
It wasn’t frightening, I saw the red tracks going up my arm and knew what they were, off to the docs for some antibiotics. Felt a little rough for a few days then all good after that
I do like some bacon, although I’m not obsessed like a certain someone seems to be.
Yay! A man who is not obsessed. You are probably saving money, too, because prices seem to be going up, and there is news of bacon shortages this year.
Say it ain’t so.
I read that in my research! But I didn’t care, so I don’t remember why. 🙂
Mostly I’m surprised you’re shocked by the deep feelings we have for bacon.
And for your husband, “Muse, thy name is bacon!”
Well,Maddie too, but bacon!
El Guapo! I’ve been running around in circles lately and have missed a poll or two at your place. I’ll be dashing over there in a minute to chime in.
It’s been a long time since I’ve done something to upset my husband, but if I did, I would simply make sure I had bacon on the stove when he came home from work, and the trouble would all disappear. Yes, bacon is his muse. 🙂
Wasn’f it Sherlock Holmes who said “I would not love thee half as much loved I not bacon more”?
LOL!! I love that you have enjoyed this post so much. Thank you for contributing and having fun.
I don’t understand the thrill of bacon. Just looks like a grease stick to me. Does that make me un-American?
No, it makes you female. Sometimes, the grease from it sort of gushes in your mouth. Yuck!! Or the heavy grease feeling stays in your stomach for hours. Ugh! I tend to eat it really crispy to avoid both of those feelings.
I don’t mind bacon. I may have exaggerated my enthusiasm for it once before but I can’t say I’m as addicted as your man.
In fact recently at work we were discussing the source of bacon vs pork vs ham. Are there pork pigs and bacon pigs and ham pigs? No, Apparently there are only pork pigs and things like bacon and ham are all cured or treated versions of pork. Maybe the rest of society already knew this but we were only prompted to research it recently. Amazing stuff.
Now don’t go all cerebral on me Richard. Yes, there are only pork pigs. However, bacon *is* bacon because of where it comes from on the pig. American “fat-streaked” bacon (see picture above) comes from the fatty sides of a pig’s belly. I think pork bellies were even traded on the stock exchange until a couple of years ago. (See the movie Trading Places with Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd.) 🙂
I should have said we used Wikipedia. Hardly very cerebral! Once we found that info we stopped looking further! Great researchers, aren’t we? Then again we kinda felt guilty wasting work time on bacon research when we should have been writing mission critical software.
Haven’t seen Trading Places. But I liked Eddie as a Donkey in the Shrek movies and Dan in the Blues Brothers. One of those movies trashed dozens of police cars and the other involved 3 Little Pigs. Close enough? 😉
I suppose mission critical software is more important than bacon. Trading Places is from back in the 80s and has a Christmas setting. Still one of my favorite movies – because it’s silly! Eddie as Shrek was great. 🙂 Yes, close enough.
I enjoy bacon . . . but don’t like having to cook it.
Enter Costco to save the day! They sell pre-cooked bacon in one pound containers. That’s right. About 50-60 slices, all perfectly cooked, all ready to just heat up.
Our favorite way of eating it does involve eggs (sorry!) First, though, I trim the fat off the bacon. This is not necessarily for health reasons. I just prefer the taste of the bacon itself, without large slabs of fat hanging from it (the Costco cooked bacon has remarkably little fat on it).
Besides, I throw the fat out to the birds . . . probably helped a few survive the winter.
Anyway, three eggs, three strips of bacon, cut into half inch (or so) pieces, shredded mozzarella cheese, salt, and pepper. Cook the eggs until the white is nearly all cooked, then break the yolks and mix in lightly. Finish cooking. Serve.
By the way . . . I had to compose myself after the “I’m a sausage girl” comment. People should not spring stuff like that on unsuspecting readers.
LOL!! Yes, sausage girl was a fun comment. … And OH.MY.GOSH Costco has containers of pre-cooked bacon? I don’t dare tell my husband or he would buy it and eat it like popcorn while watching television. Ok, I admit, your eggs with mozzarella sound really good.
I love bacon, though not as much as the men in my life do. I do draw the line at chocolate and bacon together — I never could wrap my mind around that one. Great post!
Christi, I don’t get it either. I love chocolate, but I would never defile my chocolate with bacon. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
And we would never defile our bacon with chocolate.
Touche’!
funny post! i can’t believe your husband was payed in bacon!
i like bacon, but it has to be crispy. my husband loves bacon and his has to be floppy.
i did have bacon and eggs for breffie yesterday with my parents and my husband was so jealous. he says bacon makes everything better. not sure i agree with that.
I agree with crispy, Kerri. Your husband is funny, and my husband would agree – bacon makes everything better. 🙂
The wife of my husband’s friend used to work at a grocery store. As bacon reached its “sell by” date and wasn’t sold, the employees could buy it for a song, and his wife would buy a case at a time and put it in the freezer. They would have paid my husband cash, but gave him a choice – and he took the bacon!
i’m glad i don’t have a grocery store friend. haha
🙂
A lot of times I don’t really care what I eat, just take stuff in to fill the hole. Once, though, I got a hankering for tomato soup with bacon in it. Turned out I didn’t like it, but it was the thought of it, ya know?
I could smell it. 😉
I hate (gag hate) tomato soup, so putting bacon in it is even more disgusting. But points to you, Tim, for trying! LOL! I do love the smell of bacon.
Laughed myself silly 🙂
Can’t remember the last time I ate bacon!! I like it sure but I clearly don’t love it enough !!
If it weren’t for my husband, I would probably never eat bacon, Annie. At least not here at home. Hope your weekend was good and that your new week has started off well!
Thanks Maddie. All good over here, hope your week is going well too x
He is so funny. And you know what???
I actually love bacon too! Arrgh I didn’t know this was a guy thing. Only problem is I don’t allow myself to eat it much. Maybe I should go on a bacon bender! Through Pork City! Riding a bacon thing!
PS: Having lived in both countries I know something weird – Asutralian bacon is WAAAAY bigger and a little different than US style. Weird, huh? I will take a photo of it next time I am at the supermarket and show you.
Over and out.
Australian bacon and Canadian bacon probably come from respectable parts of the pig; we get the belly.
I can see you, Monk Monkey, with your monk robe flapping in the breeze as you ride a bacon thing/scooter through the town, and then get out your grill, throw some shrimp on the barbie with the bacon, and have a bacon bender. Phew! You’ll be tired after all that! And the top of your head will be sunburned.
I’ll just put some bacon fat on there to soothe it.
You paint a beautiful picture Ms Cochere!
I knew you would appreciate the imagery, Monk Monkey. G’night. See you tomorrow!
Nighty!
Maybe it’s the salt. Or the lack of\ salt. My dad loved vegemite (which is salt with a bit of colouring added in). He added to almost everything, even ;porridge.
PS. Rich’s poem made me laugh.
Hi Mary! Vegemite is salty? I’ve been trying to figure out what that product is, and simply don’t have a clear understanding. Would you use it like we use mayonnaise? I find mayo to be on the salty side, which is why I like it on sandwiches. … Rich can be so silly. He probably wrote a dozen bacon poems when I asked him for one. 🙂
I think I remember people saying Vegemite was good for us because it had yeast in it. Our mothers fed us with it and we in turn gave our children vegemite sandwiches. If you want to burn your tongue off then spread it on bread without butter. That’s the salt. There’s so much of it that one sandwich smeared with Vegemite can take care of your salt intake for the week. I loved it as a kid, my children loved it. People who didn’t grow up on it can’t understand why we Aussies go on about Vegemite. Maddie, don’t use it to replace mayonnaise (doesn’t taste salty to me). Mayonnaise goes with a lot of things. Vegemite only goes with margarine on bread.
Rich’s poem gets my seal of approval. Give him a bacon sandwich. He’s earned it. 🙂
I would probably love the stuff. I loved salt as a child and had to have it on everything. I’m putting Vegemite on my bucket list! I’ll tell Rich you approve of his poem, but I know it will only encourage him, and he’ll write more. 🙂
Go Rich!! 🙂
LOL!! He would reply with the Hillshire Farm commercial slogan – GO MEAT!
As one carnivore to another I’m off to grill some chops for dinner. Not exciting or exactly imaginative but it’s too darned hot to think too hard.
PS. If you’re going to give Vegemite a go, then spread it thinly (I can’t emphasise this enough) on bread that has been buttered. Sometimes adding a slice of cheese to the sandwich is nice.
Will do!
Oh, and have a lovely dinner! 🙂
HA! THIS POST MADE ME DROOL, MS MADDIE! I haven’t had bacon in a very long time because I’m watching my diet. (And no, I don’t have cheat days! I practically live on fish and chicken and vegetables nowadays.)
Jae, this post is making me drool, too! Frank just commented about the joys of chocolate covered bacon. 🙂 I’m in the process of changing my diet. I do eat a lot of chicken and vegetables, but I want to add more fish and fruit. It’s sugar that I want to cut dramatically this year.
That must be hard for sweet-tooth people, no? Take it one day a time, Ms Maddie. It takes two weeks to break a habit. 😉
Hmmm…. bacon on waffles with maple syrup.
Both amazing and disgusting – makes me feel sick afterwards but love it as a rare treat!
I like my bacon to get into the maple syrup, too. I guess it’s that whole sweet/salty combination that makes it so good. Amazing and disgusting. That’s perfect!
My family’s vote goes to:
Thinly cut bacon browned with onions, with a little olive oil, and cooked in tomato sauce for a tasty and satisfying pasta sauce a l’anglais! (it should be pancetta, of course, but I’m not fussy.) To reduce saltiness, cook the bacon in a frying pan (with nothing) until it’s purged of its juices. Don’t wait until such juices are absorbed back or evaporate – drain them in the sink. The outcome is good on your health conscience too. Add fresh rosemary sprigs and of course parmisan cheese once combined with the pasta. If hot dishes is what you fancy, add dried or (I dare you!) fresh chilly pepper to the sauce. Deeeeelicious.
Now this is a good way to use bacon! It does sound delicious, and we are definitely fans of chili peppers. I’m adding your recipe to my notes. 🙂
Gaffigan would be so proud: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaK9bjLy3v4
LOL! “Bacon makes you thirsty … for more bacon!” I’ll be sending this to hubby tonight.
Brought the family to see Jim Gaffigan a couple months back when he passed through Cincinnati. Funny funny man.
Ain’t it the truth!
Just when I think there is nothing more to be said about bacon………somebody finds more to say about it.
Bacon has a brilliant future!
Just as we never stop talking about chocolate, there will always be something to be said about bacon. Nature’s candy, indeed! 🙂
I want to take strip of crispy bacon, dip it in chocolate, let it harden, then enjoy. Then again, this is not it, but it is good. http://www.baconfreak.com/vosges-milk-chocolate-bacon-bar.html
Here’s something for your hubby.
Frank, have you really tried chocolate-dipped bacon? And you like it? LOL on the video. Rich will get a kick out of it. That is one smart chicken! And $8.50 for a 3 oz. Chocolate Bacon Bar!! I am in the wrong business. 🙂 (Although they do make that bar look good!)
I want to try the dipped chocolate, but haven’t yet. Meanwhile, I have had this chocolate … wonderful! … and in other good flavors too. Here’s the company website, see “store locator” link along the top to find a store near you. http://www.vosgeschocolate.com/
There’s a location about two hours from us. That’s about the farthest “out” we go on the motorcycle in the summer. I’ll have to put it on our list of possible rides. It would take us by the Longaberger Basket building again, too, and that’s one of my favorite rides.
The chocolate on the website looks divine! Thanks for the link. If you ever eat chocolate-covered bacon, let me know if you like it.
Will do … and show hubby the chicken video.
Oh, I will. He’ll get a big kick out of it. 🙂
Encore ….
I am very genuinely in love with bacon.
As you are a girl who loves hot dogs, I believe you! Have you ever had it dipped in chocolate?
Bacon lover here. I had a cheese and bacon baked potato for dinner. Bacon & egg McDonald’s breakfast sandwich yesterday. Bacon pizza on Saturday.
I need to eat better …
Michelle, I found articles telling of the health BENEFITS of bacon. No wonder you have so much energy; you are getting a bacon boost of happiness! 🙂
Rich is SO funny – I love him! 😀 Bacon is my favourite and I can see now why I’m probably addicted to it. It always makes me think of Homer Simpson and bacon on bacon sandwiches 😀 LOL
He’s crazy! He’s in Las Vegas for a trade show right now – all set up with no clothes. His luggage was lost somewhere between Ohio / Chicago / Los Angeles / Las Vegas. He’ll be naked in his booth by Wednesday.
LOL on Homer Simpson. I think Rich has that voice/bacon sound down pat! 🙂
Oh – poor Rich! I hope he’s got a fig leaf somewhere! 😀
Rich needs to get to work on “The Bacon Lovers Handbook” complete with poems and recipes. I smell a winner and it smells like Baccccconnnn!
This might be the most entertainin’ post, includin’ the coments, that I have ever read.
Even with my habit of the occaisional heart attack I still refuse to give up bacon.
Bo, this is a fantastic idea! I’ll pitch it to him as soon as he gets home. I even know how to self-publish it for him. 🙂
You have bad habits. But, bacon isn’t all evil. Everything in moderation. Enjoy your bacon!
Too funny! Your hubby sounds like a real “ham”.
Oh, he is!! The funny thing is, he isn’t all that big on eating ham, but he’s over the moon for bacon. 🙂
Hi Maddie, a post about bacon! What a great time to decide to start blogging again! I really enjoyed this post, nothing can come between a man and his bacon!, I’m up blogging again hopefully you can stop by, Thanks Jake
ps somehow i managed to post a comment in the wrong post hehe 😛
I saw your post go by in my reader this morning, Jake. I’ll stop by soon to see what you and bacon are up to!
No problem with the double post; I simply didn’t put the other one through. 🙂
This post was hilarious! there is something about bacon that drives men wild. My husband is always reminding me to pick up bacon at the store. I am at least trying to get him to eat the low-sodium kind. I tried making him turkey bacon once and he was mortified. My son is also a huge bacon-lover. One morning, I sat down about 10 slices turned around and 6 of them were gone. He had eaten six slices all by himself. Gah! (I’m actually not a huge fan, unless it’s a BLT)
I know! Bacon makes men go crazy. Even our dogs didn’t hang around the stove like my husband does when it’s cooking. Hahaha on your son scoring over half the bacon in a heartbeat. No other meat garners the attention that bacon does; I find it so funny. And I love BLT sandwiches, too. 🙂
Pingback: Beer – I Love It | Huw Thomas
You have no idea how much I love bacon. I love it so much that I’m having it for dinner tonight
Charlie, you and my husband both! He’s in Las Vegas, and he sent a picture to me of his dinner – pork belly!! A slab of bacon. 🙂 Hope your dinner was good! 🙂
There’s no point trying to analyse it Maddie. It just tases so darn good. That’s the simple answer. Now I want some…
I have just satisfied my craving. I had an egg & bacon pie for lunch
LOL, Tony! Egg & bacon pie. That sounds like a quiche to me. So glad to have been of help. 🙂
I don’t know if they have the sort we have here in your part of the world Maddie. Unlike Quich, which Michelle made last weekend, egg & bacon pies don’t have the eggs beaten up. They are just put in whole with chopped up bacon bits. This recipe page has a picture. http://www.taste.com.au/recipes/26401/old+fashioned+egg+bacon+pie
Hmmm… I just read through that recipe & they beat some of the eggs. All the one’s I’v ever had, bought or home made don’t have any of the eggs beaten
LOL, Tony! I hate eggs, so the picture in that recipe looks completely disgusting to me, but I’m passing it on to Rich. He might think it looks like heaven. 🙂
That piggy shamrock card is perfect for St. Patrick’s day.
I think that British study is suggesting that men would bond with babies better if they came wrapped in bacon.
Hi pegoleg! I’m running behind these past two days. Thank you so much for stopping by. Babies wrapped in bacon makes perfect sense. 🙂 I wonder if there has been a bacon perfume invented yet? LOL! I had to look, and there is: http://www.fragrantica.com/perfume/Bacon/Bacon-Gold-14072.html
I remember my mom reading The Three Little Pigs to me when I was a kid. I ate the whole book. It was one of the early scratch-and-sniffs. Helluva marketing idea, really… : )
You are such a silly man! But silly is encouraged here, and that is what I love about you. … Hmmm, a bacon scratch-and-sniff. You may be onto something there.
Sorry, not a bacon fan. Although Mr G is, of course. The smell of it cooking used to make me want to vomit, but now I can just about cope. But then I am not a big meat eater anyway.
Love bacon! Bacon on everything here if I can. I like it crisp but will eat it on the soft side. I do draw the line at weird bacon combos like the Sonic Bacon peanut butter shake….yuck. 🙂